Amazing

Wow I can not believe I have not been on my blog for so long...... I really need to get back to this it is what keeps me sane and out of trouble with my self of course... 


My life has been up and down for the last couple of weeks.. I have been having an internal argument with myself for awhile  now and just can not seem to keep my self truly happy...


When ever I get on a good strike I screw it up.. I just need to stay focused and for some reason I can only do it for about 10-14 days and then I fall again... Some thing has got to work to keep me on track I feel like a big fat loser.. Something so simple I just can not succeed.. Wow well I am sure I will find the  answer I just need to work a little harder and think a lot less..


Maybe I will go back to some of the things I did years ago.. Maybe belonging to a group will help sometimes being around people with the same issue can always shed the light a little brighter.. I heard they  miss me and my honesty No bullshitting these people you have to be straight forward with them.... Or they just do not get it.. But what is more surprising is what I get out of it... I think I just need to go and see what happens...