Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel lost not sure? Well today is one of those days for me.. I hate when I have those days because my husband is constantly on me asking why I am crabby I keep telling him I am not and he keeps pushing it. It is like it is not ok to have an off day or a day where life just seems hard not sure etc...
I woke up happy and ready for the day I had my coffee made a shopping list took a shower went food shopping and came home and was just lost bored whatever just not all there... I have been just feeling lost and unsure.. I love my husband and boys but yet feel that something is still missing in my life, like I am not doing what I was meant to do in this life, that my life was suppose to be more than a wife and mom...
Am I the only one who struggles with this? Where did I go wrong where did I make the wrong choice? I know I am not the perfect mom or wife that I could improve in these areas I am sure but I can only give so much.. I did give to much in the beginning and completely lost the person I was and a whole lot more.. More than I thought I always told my self that it was no big deal that my family is enough but is it really I live in a world of silence I have no one to share things with besides my husband and when you are married there are some things that are better just left unsaid. Things that you would only tell your best friend... For me that is my self, I do talk to my husband about a lot of things things that most married people would think are tabu but because he is my male best friend I can tell him a lot of things that most women would not dream of telling their husbands..
Anyways I stil can't help feeling that I lost out on a lot of things in my life and that was a day I had just a day of reflection hate loneliness what the hell my life is and the meaning of it...Where do I go from here what do I do next where do I find the answers I am looking for?
So to all of you if you ever have one of these days except it and just get through it it will pass and tomorrow is monday and back to work and my normal routine..
LIVE,LOVE,LAUGH
Sunday, October 18, 2009
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1 comments:
I feel exactly how you feel! Lost in plans and goals...! Most of the time unhappy with what i am working towards. I desperately need a track to which i feel like i am accomplishing something. As of now, second year in college, i feel that what i have accomplished so far is 0. Not as if i have nothing to account for but as if there is nothing to emotionally build upon. Not that satifies me completely... Pulling me in a defined direction. Well, first time posting here so thats all for now. Definately like puting what im thinkin out where at least someone can comment... :))) Love YOU ALL!!!
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